An Open Letter of Kindness for UMD: An Op-Ed
When was the last time someone did something kind for you? Better yet, when was the last time you did something kind for another person? As our society continues to digitalize, we lose connection with one another, causing distant relationships. Although this seems efficient when it comes to working on one’s personal success, it is a detrimental factor of building connections. Kindness, being one of the most binding components of creating relationships, is often overlooked. Research confirms that kindness not only strengthens all relationships, but builds trust. In any type of relation, romantic or platonic, consideration of kindness should be emphasized and reflected on based considering the positive effects it has towards yourself and others.
As we get older romantic relationships become widely focused on. This is especially observable as you move into college. However there is a wide spectrum of intentions and fundamentals within these relationships. Some may be looking for a long term relationship whereas others may look for a one night stand. Either way, researcher Dr. Stan Hyman has shown that attraction is influenced by kindness, effort, and likeability of another person as opposed to their physical attributes. These acts of kindness may look like going out of your way to complete a task, doing something to express love for your partner, modifying plans for your partner’s sake, or trying to understand your partner’s thoughts or feelings. Expert Zara Zareen suggests that performing acts of kindness makes us, and our partners, happier. Hyman then goes on to say the voluntary nature of kindness in long term relationships helps reduce insecurity and neediness that comes with trying to seek reassurance. Prioritizing acts of kindness within romantic relationships, especially in college, will create better success and overall happiness for both parties.
College is an environment that is meant to connect people. Although not everyone may find a romantic connection in college, almost everyone will find a friendship. Platonic relationships have similar outcomes when it comes to incorporating kindness. Studies show that although happiness is a subjective state, it is deeply rooted in our social context, emotionally and cognitively. This is greatly influenced by our interpersonal contacts. Similarly, this can be seen through Dorota Jasielska’s research that suggests trust is built through social interactions. April Litchford confirms the more you look for kindness, the more likely you will be to notice other relationships that need your kind efforts. Everyone likes to feel love and cared for. Expressing your gratitude through acts of kindness is one way your friends can feel appreciated.
Along with the research conducted on the benefits of expressing kindness, movements and organizations have formed to help boost the information. Andrea McCracken provides information on the Free Hugs campaign, an initiative started where strangers stand in public areas such as city streets or local parks, holding “free hug” signs. This is an opportunity for strangers who are having a rough day or just need physical contact to make that connection. Similar interactions are often seen at Pride festivals for individuals who may not receive that kind of connection or support from family members or friends. Just Say Hello is an additional movement that has recently gained momentum by showing awareness of the importance of affection and meaningful social connections. Both of these organizations remind us that we are not all strangers. These face-to-face social connections help spread kindness within our communities.
Research leads us to believe that showing kindness is known to help us build social bonds, increase trust and acceptance in our relationships, and increase our overall happiness. The more we prioritize kindness within our relationships on a daily basis, the happier we become. So, think about the people around you; the people you care about. What can you do to express your gratitude and let them know you care? Kindness is all around us, the more we embrace it with others, the better we become.